turn on your television.

i live in new york city, i don't capitalize my letters, and i love tv. found on twitter at @kimberlykraft

April 23, 2014 at 7:54am
1 note

amy schumer perfectly encapsulating the role of women in most films/tv dramas.

(from The Foodroom- inside Amy on comedy central tuesdays at 10:30p)

April 18, 2014 at 12:51pm
2 notes

How Amy Schumer Gets Guys To Think Feminists Are Funny →

"Networks are learning that if you write funny comedies then people will watch them. It’s not that the writers are disguising their feminism; they are just prioritizing comedy first."

April 14, 2014 at 11:30pm
62 notes
Reblogged from mad-rock
my submission!!

my submission!!

8:56am
0 notes

while waiting for the ikea ferry in the sun

me: ugh this feels sooo good. i'm like a lizard, i need the sun to recharge.
kitty: ... did you just essentially say you're cold blooded??

April 10, 2014 at 11:16pm
5 notes

a slice of pizza folded in half is just an italian taco

April 9, 2014 at 12:43am
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growing up is accepting you’re actually a slytherin

April 8, 2014 at 11:09pm
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i had to return a pair of oxfords i bought online to DSW today

cashier: was there something wrong with the shoes?

me: … i didn’t know they’d be so glittery

her: that’s the best part!

me: 

image

I JUST WANT A PAIR OF REGULAR BLACK OXFORDS THAT ARE FOR GIRLS IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK

8:23pm
3 notes

YOU NEVER RRALIXE HOW OFTEN YOUR PHONE AUTOCRORECTS FOR YOU INFIL YOU TRY AND TYPE IN ALL XAPS

12:56am
1 note

The 12 steps of buying a microwave

1. Go to the store to buy microwave.
2. See how expensive they are. Leave store without microwave.
3. Convince roommate that we don’t really NEED a microwave, and that not having one will force us to eat healthier.
4. Continuously eat seamless and cereal for 2 weeks straight.
5. Go back to the store. Find microwave that has an expired “on sale” sticker on it.
6. Get it for the on sale price even though it isn’t, really.
(5a. While going to the cash register, completely drop it on the floor and hope you didn’t break it somehow)
7. Place possibly broken microwave on top of roommate’s granny cart, and precariously roll it the 2 blocks and three avenues home.
8. Get to the foot of the stairs to your fifth floor walk up.
9. Look at your roommate until she sighs and takes it up the stairs.
10. Set it up immediately. It’s not broken!
11. Talk to your roommate about how you’ll still try and be healthy-ish and use it really just to heat up food you’ve already made/bought.
12. Three days later buy literally every single somewhat appetizing frozen food meal in food emporium.

Up next: finally getting a couch you bought 3 weeks ago delivered to your apartment!

April 7, 2014 at 12:02am
14 notes
pete holmes: any show that has realms, i’m out.
conan: what are you talking about?
pete holmes: i didn’t know that was a deal breaker but if a man on a horse gets off and says , “in this realm…” i’m like nope, i can’t do it.
pete holmes and i feel the exact same way about game of thrones

pete holmes: any show that has realms, i’m out.

conan: what are you talking about?

pete holmes: i didn’t know that was a deal breaker but if a man on a horse gets off and says , “in this realm…” i’m like nope, i can’t do it.

pete holmes and i feel the exact same way about game of thrones